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The very best way to increase your ROI is to change your thinking about ROI.

Most people look at those initials and think “Return on Investment”. With networking, you will find better results if you look at ROI and think “Return on Involvement”.

Let me give you several examples.

Jane Taker and Mary Giver both join a networking organization on the same day.

Jane rarely attends the functions or events. When Jane does attend an event, she arrives late, leaves early and barely talks to anyone while she is there. When Jane does talk, her talk is all about herself and she is openly pushing to make a sale during her interactions at the event. She is there only to “get” something and if she doesn’t “get” that certain something, she feels that she has wasted her time and money. People like Jane often say that they don’t “get” anything out of networking or they say “Networking doesn’t work for me.”

Mary attends as many functions as she can. She calls the leadership and asks how she can help. She volunteers at the registration table and takes great pride in helping others to feel welcome wherever she is. Mary arrives early to either help or spend extra time getting to know the other members. Even though she is shy, Mary knows that listening to others is a great way to get to know people and to help others begin to like her. Mary reaches out to others by helping to make connections, sharing resources, and being supportive. Mary’s outlook is upbeat and one of abundance. People like Mary and want to be around her. People similar to Mary often say that building relationships is very important to them. And, for people like Mary, the results in friendship, referrals, and business growth are measurable and satisfying.

The major difference between the 2 ladies? Mary got involved. Jane did not.

The net result? Mary grew her relationships first through her giving, her attitude of gratitude, and her vision of abundance. For Mary, the getting came later and in big ways. Some financial, some emotional, some too priceless to measure.

Jane quit the organization and joined a different one – the cycle will probably be repeated.

Both Jane and Mary spent the same amount of money on their membership.

Jane began by wanting a “return” on that investment – and quit shortly after when the “return on investment” did not pan out for her.

Mary began by realizing that if she got involved she would increase her top of mind awareness with the other members. She would gain visibility by helping others. Her involvement helped others to see her character and her commitment to getting things done by being helpful.

Helping others to see your character and commitment are the first steps to building the trust that is so important to building long lasting and mutually beneficial relationships.

Given the choice between focusing on ROI as “return on investment” or as “return on involvement”, I choose involvement every time.

The results are amazing!

I was interviewed by Paul Casey for his radio show “Six Steps to Business Success” on KKNW – 1150AM in Seattle. The very first question Paul asked was for me to give my definition of “networking”.

For a brief moment, I froze. My mind raced as I tried to think of the perfect definition of networking, after all, this interview was going to be on the radio and I wanted to make the soundbite ring with truth and sincerity.

And then it came to me in its simplest form: Networking is the art of building relationships with people for mutual benefit over time.

Some would say that networking is a necessary part of a business person’s marketing tool box. And I would agree with that. As long as the person doing the networking is focused on building relationships that will blossom over time. However, there are way too many people today who think that they are networking when in reality they are just on an extended “sales call”. I’m sure that you have run into this type of a person at an event or at a social mixer. This is the person who comes up to you, introduces themselves, and then launches into a pitch about their business and why you should buy from them.

This happened to a friend of mine recently. We were both at a women’s breakfast meeting. For the sake of this example, we’ll call my friend Sally. Sally is a fabulous gal and she is nearly 6 feet tall. Sally is a well known business woman, she dresses beautifully, and carries herself with a professional demeanor. Sally and I were chatting when a woman approached us and handed her business card to Sally and said, “What a becoming suit you have on. I sell women’s clothing and we carry a great line of women’s suits that are professional in cut and style. You should call me and I’ll help you dress well for success.” And then she turned and walked away.

Sally and I were stunned. What just happened? Was that networking? No. It was a sales pitch. Did the hit and run sales person take any time to get to know Sally as a person? No. She saw Sally as a target and she fired away. Sally was left wondering if there was an underlying message…”Was there something wrong with what Sally was wearing?” No, I assured her, she was dressed perfectly for the occasion. Sally took that lady’s business card and dropped it in the nearest waste basket. The woman had left a lasting impression … but not at all the one she had hoped for.

How could this have had a different outcome? Networking, first and foremost, is about building relationships. Networking is learning about the other person more than it is about selling yourself or your products. People buy from people they know, like, and trust. You really have to take the time to get to know people and let them get to know you before you can move from the introduction to the transaction. For this scenario to have had a different outcome a different approach would have been necessary.

Let’s call the clothing sales lady Jill. Jill could have approached us and waited to be included in the conversation. At that point she could have introduced herself and asked a general event specific question like, “What a great group of women this is, are you members or a guest like me?” That would have given us an opportunity to introduce ourselves. Then, Jill could have asked us what we do and upon learning the answer could have asked slightly more probing questions. At some point in the 2-3 minute conversation she could have asked for a business card from Sally or offered her own with a suggestion for a follow up conversation. Or not. She could have simply enjoyed the conversation and then followed up by sending Sally a “nice to meet you” handwritten note. And then a week or so later, she could have followed up again with Sally just to let her know that there is a trunk show of suits by a designer that specializes in clothing for tall women and would Sally like a personal invitation to attend? At any rate, Sally would more likely have held onto Jill’s business card and kept it for future reference had Jill approached Sally in this manner.

YES, it takes longer. YES, it’s more work. Networking is about building relationships. Never forget that. Building takes time. Bulldozing takes moments and leaves a swath of destruction in its path.

So do us all a favor. The next time you head out to network with others, be sure to have the goal in mind that you are there to build relationships that will blossom over time. Leave the bulldozer at home.